Preparing for Natural Birth x3

I'm sitting here nursing my third baby to sleep on his first birthday and I am so grateful for the experience I've had with all my babies. I love reliving their births and we talk about them often with our boys. As the only woman in the house I want to normalize birth for my boys and set them up to be positive support people in their futures.

I wrote about this last birth, which was en caul, and hope to write about my other two but today I want to share how I was able to prepare my husband and I for our natural births. This post contains affiliate links, I might make a small commission at no cost to you to support paying for my blog platform. 

It was 2017, I had gotten engaged on NYE, married in June and by July I was pregnant. It was a very busy time in my life. I was lucky that my sister was having her third home birth in August and had invited me to join otherwise I'm not sure natural birth would've been on my radar as much.

I was able to watch as my nephew came into the world peacefully at home. It was late at night, dark, calm and quiet. My sister had always said she loved her births and I never got it, believing birth was mostly painful, chaotic and something to be feared. I finally understood, birth can be the greatest gift. 

I know this isn't true for everyone and many women wish theirs had gone differently. I am not here to tell anyone what choices to make but I am here to share positive birth stories for anyone wishing to read them. There are tips for anyone giving birth whether you are hoping for natural or not. My hope is to spread positivity surrounding birth. Maybe someday as a society we can treat birth as a special and sacred act that deserves to be nurtured, cared for and celebrated rather than feared. 

Here are the things I did to foster a positive birth experience:

(Natural) Birth Class

With my first baby I enrolled my husband and I in a natural birth class at our local hospital. It was reasonably priced and offered a great bonding experience for us to focus on our impending birth. The nurse who led class was very knowledge and shared lots of pain management tips and the realities of birth. I think this was very helpful for my husband to be a part of so he was more prepared to support me when the time came. 

There are lots of birth classes available and I think it's beneficial for everyone to get a more in depth peek into what's coming from a birthing professional. It's also fun to meet parents in the same boat as you!

Reading Books

True to form I wanted to learn as read as much as possible. This is my preferred mode of gaining knowledge so I read a lot of books during my pregnancies.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is hands down my number one recommendation for having a natural birth. Ina May has been a midwife for decades and focuses on pain management and setting the right environment. I loved reading her firsthand accounts of midwifery and birth at her birth center she opened in 1971, one of the first birth centers opened in the US. She also details the benefits and joys that can result from natural childbirth. This book was just what I needed to start my journey.

Birthing from Within was my next favorite book. If I had to describe my births in a few words this would be it. I focused inward to find the strength I needed at the hardest parts. Yes a supportive partner and positive environment are important but no matter what happens you are the one birthing the baby. It was essential that I was in a good place and prepared for birth. This book has amazing ways to prepare for natural birth that I followed and included below such as meditating, journaling and art. 

Joyous Childbirth Changes the World is my next favorite recommendation. Dr. Tadashi Yoshimura runs a birth center in Japan and focuses on the health of the mother throughout her pregnancy and birth. It was amazing to read his tips as an obstetrician who believes birth is natural and should remain that way. His clinic has a 3.4% c-section rate despite taking many high risk cases. He inspired me to be more active during my pregnancies and gave real advice on reaching a positive birth starting during pregnancy.

Birth Art

I loved doing birth art! In my job as a teacher I am big on positive affirmations and use it with my students. We say and write things like, I am in control of my actions, I am a reader, I am loved. I used the same concept to create birthing affirmations such as, Women all over the world are birthing with me, I am about to meet my baby, Be strong like an Oak tree.

Creating birth art offered me a quiet time to reflect on the birth I wanted and to connect with my baby during pregnancy. I hung up the birth art at the birth center and it brought me strength. When I had my second I pulled out the birth art and my oldest and I made more. It was special and helped him feel like he was a part of the pregnancy and birth of his baby brother. 

I bought some plain white paper and used Pinterest as my inspiration but if you'd rather buy some premade there are lots of good options like this Empowered Birth Coloring Book independently created by a mom in California or if coloring is not your thing you could check out this set of 50 beautiful cards with illustrations and affirmations to be used throughout pregnancy and birth by Mama Natural. What a beautiful gift to give for a mama to be!

Journaling

I have always journaled to help process my emotions during big events or shifts in my life and did the same during pregnancy. I felt closer to my babies and was able to process any fears I felt by writing them down. 

I bought this journal for all three of my pregnancies because it has space to write each week along with big events all the way to the first year. I knew I'd never do a big baby book so this was perfect for me. There is space to write your feelings and also about what's going on in life so it's a fun tribute to our family life as well. As a 4th baby myself with no baby book I am always happy to share their pregnancy and baby books with them and hope they will enjoy them for years to come.

Avoiding Negativity

It never fails when you are pregnant, someone wants to tell you the awful birth story of their neighbor's sister's cousin or how terrible their own was. Don't listen. You are not their therapist and do not need to stick around for this conversation. I would smile and change the subject or the best excuse as a pregnant women, I suddenly had to pee!

I also did a lot of research into what actually happens during birth physiologically. I learned that contractions come and go in varying stages of birth and your body is able to 'rest' when they aren't happening. I told myself I could do anything for 90 seconds which is the longest a typical contraction is in the last stage of labor when you are close to delivering. For me, knowing what happens during each stage of labor and what to expect was important for my mindset and preparing myself in a positive way. 

We have been inundated with negative birth imagery for years in the media, think back to tv shows and movie you've seen with birth scenes, they are almost never good and it takes work to rewire your brain into a positive mindset. 

Birth Center/Water Birth

I wasn't all in on home birth after being at my sister's but knew I didn't want a hospital birth where the chances of saying yes to an epidural would increase significantly. A birth center was the perfect alternative. There were no IV fluids (I hate needles!), minimal interventions (I didn't even have one cervical check with my third) and I felt included and empowered throughout my pregnancy and birth. If this wasn't an option for me I likely would have chosen home birth or had a very detailed and typed out birth plan for the hospital along with choosing a midwife over a doctor.

I will do a full post on water birth eventually but the short of it is that water births use less pain medication and less interventions. Births tend to be shorter and have lower rates of tearing. Women report having a greater feeling of privacy and greater satisfaction with their births (https://evidencebasedbirth.com/waterbirth/). I experienced all of these positive outcomes. I had one stitch with my first baby and none with my second and third. 

The most uncomfortable I ever felt was during the cervical check when I arrived with my first. Laying on my back in bed was excruciating and I can't imagine staying in that position. In the tub, the water was warm and soothing and I was able to move around how I wanted and I never felt exposed for all to see. I used laughing gas (nitrous oxide) with my first birth. It doesn't take the pain away but it helped my muscles relax which I needed. I was nervous even with all the work I had done and that extra layer of support helped calm me down. 

I recommend looking into water birth if it at all interests you!

From that first 'pregnant' test my life changed and I am so grateful I was able to have positive birth experiences. The work I put in through classes, reading, art, journaling and adjusting my mindset towards positivity helped contribute to this experience. I hope more mamas are able to start their parenting journey with the birth they want!